I'm feeling a little guilty as I write this. I did a very petty thing today.
You have to understand, that I'm not a petty person generally. I'm pretty easy going, would help anyone if I could, but sometimes, just sometimes, I get the feeling that I'm being taken for a ride, or in this instance, that OH is and I decided to stand up for us both.
For a good while now, due to OH working from home, we've been having parcels for both our neighbours and sometimes others in the street, delivered to us whilst they're out at work or just out. They never warn us that they're expecting them and ask us would we mind taking them. They seem to just assume that it's okay to let the delivery men knock at our house, knowing my partner is likely to be in, and leave them with us.
It's happened a lot in the last six months and I've been getting a bit irritated by it, mainly because whenever we have a parcel coming and we're not in (which is rare, might I add, as we make sure one of us is in, if at all possible), they get sent to the Royal Mail depot and OH has to get up early and get there to collect them before a huge queue develops.
On one occasion, an item OH ordered a week before we went on holiday but never came, was subsequently left on the doorstep for someone to steal, which they did, incidentally! Anyway, the worst occasion in recent weeks, was when in the same day, we were given one parcel for one neighbour, two for the other and our Royal Mail parcel ended up at the depot!
It's one of those irritating consequences of internet shopping. Yes, it's very convenient to have your shopping delivered to your home, but if you're going to do so, make sure you're going to be in. If you are going to be out at work, have some manners and ask your neighbour if they don't mind receiving it or why not just click and collect? There are plenty of shops around here that facilitate the picking up of parcels on the way home. I know because I've used them, to avoid inconveniencing anyone else.
It doesn't seem to cross anyone's mind or make them feel guilty that OH might be busy working in his business, often concentrating on complex drawings, and he has to interrupt his work or lunch to answer the door to take charge of their shopping.
Anyway, today, I had a day off, OH was out at an appointment and I was getting down to business doing my WHB (Flylady speak for Weekly Home Blessing). I was just starting work on the living room and I heard an engine switch off, and a knock next door. I waited, knowing that the next move would be to knock at our door and they did. I ignored them, they knocked again, I ignored them again and then they took the parcel across the road to someone else.
Now I did feel a bit mean, but delivery drivers are also to blame in this situation, as they rely on the good will of neighbours, sometimes on way too many occasions. In addition, many times, they don't even inform the neighbours that they've left the parcel with us, so they never come to collect it and we have to resort to chasing around after them to free ourselves from it, which is even more annoying.
I'm sorry, but it's just plain rude and I'm afraid my good will ran out today. I've been telling OH not to answer the door for a while, but he's too soft and always caves. I stood my ground today as a matter of principle. We're not some public convenience, there for everyone else to abuse.
You may think I'm unkind, so be it, but sometimes you have to make a stand, if only for your own peace of mind. I'm sure the neighbours won't even know that I refused to take their parcel, but if I do it often enough they and the delivery drivers might get the message and make their own arrangements.
I refuse all parcels for neighbours after one Christmas when ny neighbours daughter who lives in London had her entire shopping over many weeks delivered to her mother( my neighbour). On Christmas day she was busy telling everyone about how wondergul it had been to have everything delivered to Mummy's. Mummy is in her 80's so each time a parcel came, we had to phone round or go round with the parcel. I seldom answere the door during the day unless we are expecting an amazon order. If I answer and it's not for me, I simply say sorry, no. I have twice recently had to go to the PO to collect yarn and I accept that is my responsibilty. You are not mean, but neither are you a click and collect outlet! Catriona
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly what I've been feeling lately. Thank you for making me feel like I'm not the only one who gets irritated by this type of behaviour. We are very independent and self reliant as a household and don't assume or even like to ask favours of people when through very little effort on our part we don't need to.
DeleteThat's another thing, with Christmas coming up I can see what will happen in the next few weeks too.
Oh, I'm afraid I did something similar. My neighbour had a monthly delivery for wine which I took in all year and usually had to lug round as they were in no rush to collect it. They both work and at no point did they have the manners to ask if I minded taking deliveries. On the run up to last Christmas, orders were coming thick and fast and I simply stopped taking them in. Mean spirited maybe, but enough was enough.
ReplyDeleteI think you get to your limit with these matters. We're all busy and we've all got our own lives going on. I try not to let our lives impinge on others, so I guess I kind of expect the same courtesy. I imagine it's a problem nationwide these days.
DeleteWe all reach this point sometimes. Mine was with lending items which were returned broken with no apologies. I think long term taking in of parcels is way over above and beyond being a good neighbour
ReplyDeleteWe have this all the time as we have new younger neighbours on both sides and since they moved in 2 or 3 years ago it has been never ending. They seem to do all their shopping by internet. Strangely enough they are always in for their food shopping deliveries! A few times we have even ended up taking in parcels for them when they are actually in and it seems cannot be bothered to go to the door no doubt too busy. The last time this happened and we knew they were in we decided we were not going to deliver it to them and waited to see how long it would take them to come and collect it - 4 days and in that time they had been in and out each day and passed our house each morning and afternoon taking their daughter to and from school but still not come for the parcel!
ReplyDeleteWe hardly ever get things by post and as you we find we end up having to go to the sorting office. We would normally do click and collect where we can.
I wouldn't worry about it - it can be very annoying when it is constant even more so when you know they are in!
I would just stop going out of my way to take their parcels in. If you happen to be in fine but don't then deliver to them. Also your husband shouldn't be disturbed unless taking a break when the doorbell rings.
DeleteI do think some younger people do take things for granted. We have lovely new neighbours both sides over the past three years and both lovely.
Yes, sometimes I think it's a mindset these days, that it's okay to let other people take in your parcels.
DeleteI do wonder how they might feel if they were constantly on the receiving end of ours.
We'll probably still take the occasional one. We'll see how it goes in the next few weeks.
I only have one neighbour that I would trust with any parcels, and considering her daughter works for the courier company I am afraid my parcels usually get left with her.
ReplyDeleteHowever if people started to take me for granted, I think I would probably ignore the knock on the door as well.
God bless.
Don't blame you at all.
ReplyDeleteMy neighbours are all very nice so I don't mind taking things in for them, but what I very much do mind is when they don't come round for the parcel and expect me to drop it off. That, in my view, is a bit naughty.
Actually, I've got an elderly neighbour and I don't go round if it is dark which it is when I get home in the evenings, because I don't want them going out in the cold, so I wait until Saturday- not because I am expecting them to come round.
DeleteThat is very sensible with an older neighbour.
DeleteIt is totally understandable. Actually, I order things over the internet via Royal Mail and put my address, well expecting it to go to the Delivery office, which it does on some occasions but my Postie takes it upon himself to try delivering to the Neighbours. I am lucky they don't mind but I'd never put their address in instead of mine. I'd not expect them to take it in, it's nice that they do.x
ReplyDelete